So I have been scrolling Tinder a bit lately and the more I go out and meet people the more I feel like I need to stop looking so hard and let it come to me. I’m so over the majority of men saying “I’m just looking for a hook up,” and then try to justify it with “Hey at least I’m honest.” Yeah well, honesty is appreciated but with the amount of guys trying to get laid versus the ones that don’t mind actually holding a conversation, it gets old. And it gets old fast! Then there are the very few that decide that I’m interesting and actually want to ask more about me to get to know me. Although to be quite honest I find it hard to believe anything anyone says on a dating application. People can be so fake and say just what you want to hear but if you don’t start to flirt with them when they bring up sex as a topic then you can see just how quick they stop replying. It never bothers me though. I prefer not to waste my time on ignorant people. Sooo.. anyways!
There was this one guy who I had been excited to meet. His name is Brandon. I came home from work one night, about 11 p.m., showered and was getting ready to go grab a drink or two with him and chat. I was pretty exhausted but I am always down for a drink and a new face. So, somehow Brandon ended up flaking last minute and I was so disappointed. I literally had never done so well of a job on my outfit and make-up my entire life. I was amazed with myself so I knew I couldn’t let it go to waste. I managed to find a last minute Tinder date. So I still went out and I ended up drunk that night. Two A.M.F.’s and three shots of tequila and didn’t have to pay a penny or sleep with the guy. (Yay! A decent man! Lol.) He is like my doppelganger but for my personality. It was a trip and so crazy how much we thought alike and liked the same exact things. But as much as we clicked, i have yet to find myself wanting more than friendship. We’re so alike I feel I would rather keep him as a friend just to make sure he sticks around and we not mess anything up. He’s a cool dude guys.
Anyhow … back to Brandon. So I think at this point, Brandon really felt bad. I messaged him and he assumed I was going to be done talking to him. Why would any mature person get mad over something so small? We’re strangers. No, I’m not going to be dramatic about it. We’re adults, not teenagers. So after he realized I wasn’t upset he began to talk to me more and more. It hasn’t quite been more than a week or so that we started talking but this guy really wasn’t like the rest so far. He kept up conversation, sent silly faced pictures through Snapchat, and we really got to talking. I’m not jumping the gun but today, he literally gave me butterflies through text. That’s rare and I haven’t had butterflies in my tummy for a long while. It felt nice.
So.. because this guy is so kind and makes me feel good, I decided to blog about him to make him feel special. This first part of the blog entry is for you guys. This second part coming up, is for him. I mean you guys too but if you’ve read any of my previous stuff you know me more than he does already but hey, you might still learn something new!
Brandon, you asked me earlier today to give you a little insight on who I am. Personality, pet peeves, etc. So here you go Hun. Facts. You asked for it:
♥I was raised in a tiny, little town and just moved to the city about 8 or 9 months ago.
♥I have always been very mature for my age although I can’t resist being a woman occasionally and having my temper tantrums when I’m feeling irritable.
♥ I dealt with moderate to severe depression since I was 11 years old and am barely finding my way to feeling totally happy with who I am and what I have and feel nothing but excitement for my future lately.
♥ My psych doctor had once agreed that I am considered a Highly Sensitive Person (H.S.P.). My entire life I felt abnormal and out of place but in all reality I simply just felt things on a much deeper level. The characteristic trait of being an H.S.P. only covers about 17% of the world’s population. I am extremely sensitive to witnessing violence, staying in the sun too long and can be too emotional for even myself sometimes. Often, people think of sensitive as weak when in reality we are just more highly in tuned of our situations and think and feel on a much greater level than the average human. We just can’t quite grasp why everyone just can’t get along and handle things maturely with human compassion.
Google’s definition: “A highly sensitive person (H.S.P.) experiences the world differently than others. Due to a biological difference that they’re born with, highly sensitive people are more aware of subtleties and process information deeply.”
♥As if being a H.S.P. didn’t feel like a curse enough already, I am also empathic. I can walk in a room and tell immediately what the atmosphere is like by the people who are in it. I sense everyone’s emotions and sometimes that same sensation leaves me wondering how many of the emotions I feel are really mine or if I am just picking them up from someone near me. I read once you have to learn to create an emotional barrier or else in the long run we can become overwhelmed with not being able to separate our own emotions from others. Although that might seem bad, the empathy I have for people has always been sincere and genuine. I just want the best for people. I have always been a great friend to others and by always placing myself in the other persons shoes and catching their vibes. I learned how to create stronger relationships with others as well as feel with them how they are feeling so I know how to comfort them. This has to do with the ability to feel the emotions and feelings that someone else is experiencing and have compassion for them. You feel how they feel.
-Empath: “a person with the paranormal ability to apprehend the mental or emotional state of another individual.”
-Empathy: “the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.”
♥I have a dog. He’s a beagle named Zuko. I got his name from the cartoon Avatar: The Last Air Bender. Prince Zuko is the fire lord’s banished son and he has a burn mark over his eye. When I got my dog as a pup with all that loose seeing the brown patch on his eye reminded me of that character. Thus he was named Zuko! He is now 6 years old and still likes to attempt to get away with mischief. He’s also OBSESSED with this red squeaky ball of his and can’t sleep without a security blankie.
♥I’m 5’4″. Yeah, I’m a lil’ shawty.. haha 😛
♥Some of my pet peeves are: open-mouthed chewing, uncovered sneezes and coughs, the feel of chalk, slow cashiers, this non-apology: “I’m sorry you feel that way.”, leaving the cap off the toothpaste and people who act like they care but you know sincerely they don’t. I’m sure there’s more I just can’t think of them. Maybe I should add people who flake on me. Lol, jk.
♥My birthday is July 26th. I’m a Leo! Rawr! >:)
♥I don’t know how to cook….yet.. o_o
♥I LOVE SEA FOOD!
♥Favorite color is green. Lime/neon kinda green. Oh and of course, black! 😀
♥I’m scared to get into another relationship because I always give them my all just to end up feeling like I am never enough in the end.
♥I have always wanted kids badly but often times I think I am incapable. Had an ovary removed in a rush while being in surgery for an appendectomy because it was severely infected. I stayed in the hospital for a week on advanced antibiotic treatment to save the other one. They said I would be fin and the one that was left could do the job for both. I still have my doubts on being able to have kids but… I guess I’ll know someday if it’s meant to happen. Meanwhile, my appendix they removed was perfectly healthy. Talk about a misdiagnosis!
♥I am SUPER affectionate and love receiving affection too. Cuddles, playing with hair, back scratches/rubs, bombardment of kisses at random times if my partner gets too close and I can’t help it, doing little sweet things to show I think about them and I know this one might sound creepy but I star admiringly sometimes too often. I justify that by saying I think every moment is precious especially if it’s with someone you love. I just want to soak everything in that I can before it disappears on me so I catch myself just wanting to sit and look at my person and feel the joy of their presence.
♥I like macho and sexy but I think a deep connection and a strong bond is what I crave most in a partner. Looks never bothered me before, it’s all in the personality for me. Ambition and goals are good qualities too.
♥I just want to be happy. I want to find someone mature and faithful so we can build our lives without all the dramatic complications. Someone who will focus on our future with me and do great things together. I hate drama and I just want honesty, appreciation and loyalty. Someone who will share my faith in each other to be there for everything, good and bad. Sounds like marriage but I am quite okay on holding off on marriage until I know saying yes feels right down to my very soul. Side note: I’ve been engaged before. There is a very long story to it too. Ugh.
♥I like for people to be completely honest with me. Even if it hurts, someone owning up to something they did shows me that they are willing to take responsibility for their actions. I tend to forgive easier in those cases. I admire honesty as much as I admire feeling loved. Being lied to is one of the worst feelings. I much rather hear it from that person than from someone else. I have to say honesty is the number one thing I am attracted to.
I can keep going but I am getting tired. Haha. I hope you, my readers, don’t mind that I took up a blog entry to get sappy, but hit the like button if you honestly read this all the way through, haha.
Oh, and Brandon.. I hope you enjoyed reading this too.♥